Emotional Intelligence and Self-Regulation
What a wild ride we have been on. Even those of us who consider ourselves calm, cool, collected, poised and prepared have experienced a shock to our operating system as we have never seen before. It has been interesting observing and participating in the range of emotions most of us are going through. We all have different personality traits and are predisposed to respond to crisis in different ways. Thankfully, there is no absolute best behavior to model.
On top of innate personality traits, we also all have varying degrees with strengths and weaknesses of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). EQ, by definition, is the ability to sense, understand and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions to facilitate higher levels of collaboration and productivity.
Successful leaders and superior performers have well-developed EQ skills. This makes it possible for them to work well with a wide variety of people and to respond effectively to the rapidly changing conditions in the business world. Fortunately, EQ is an area you can focus on and develop.
One model to help you assess your emotional levels throughout the day is to check your emotional clarity. Think of red as poor emotional clarity or an inability to utilize all skills and resources because of your emotional cloudiness. When you’re identifying yourself as having a red glass, you may be experiencing emotions such as fear, anger, sadness or loss. Think of clear glass as your ideal state of clarity, or when you’re emotionally “in the zone.” You may experience emotions such as happiness, joy, peace or excitement. Most of the time you are somewhere in between. During this pandemic, it can be hard to stay out of the red zone.
One of the most important parts of EQ is having the ability to self-regulate. More specifically, self-regulation is the ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods and the propensity to suspend judgment and think before acting. When faced with so many uncertainties coupled with an urgency to make decisions that we had not previously planned for, self-regulation can be a real challenge.
At Well Coached, we use an assessment that measures EQ and also provides action steps on things each individual can do to enhance their own EQ. These easy to understand and implement suggestions are quick ways to get back on track during tough seasons.
Here are some tips to enhance Self-Regulation:
When experiencing negative emotions, continue to summarize the situation to determine triggers and critically observe your behavioral reactions.
Discuss additional strategies for altering a negative mood with a family member, friend or trusted advisor. Determine what works best for you.
Choose a co-worker to discuss opportunities to further advance your Self-Regulation abilities. Ask them to help discover ways to regulate in current trigger areas.
Keep a log of your effective self-regulation skills, as you may find yourself in situations in the future that are harder for you to regulate.
Reflect on times you demonstrated appropriate use of relaxation and emotions; effective communication requires both.
Discuss with a trusted advisor what may keep you from expressing emotions or trigger points for an upcoming situation.
Put your feelings in perspective with the big picture; ask yourself, "How will I feel about this one week from now?"
Use regular exercise to manage your emotions and relax both body and mind.
Given your behavioral preferences, brainstorm ways to express emotions authentically.
Having emotional swings is totally normal and certainly understandable during times of crisis. The key is being able to identify certain triggers and build coping skills to keep the pendulum from swinging too far, too often.